i have been extremely unwell for most of 2014. existing mental illness, tendencies towards manipulative and controlling behavior, and an emotionally and sexually abusive home environment combined to make me unsafe to people around me.
i controlled and manipulated people. my presence was overpowering and terrifying. i genuinely wanted love and friendship with people but i am afraid that in general these were overpowered by my need for control over my environment, which included everyone around me.
i want people to be safe. i want and need friends and loved ones, but i can't go back to having the power over anyone i did in the last year. i am going to be leaving this space for a more private one, without the reach or pull i previously had.
i will not be re-initiating contact with people unless they choose to do so first.
if i hurt you and there's anything i can do to make restitution for it, or if i haven't apologized for what i've done to you in a way you're satisfied with, and you're interested in that, get in contact with me.
if we were close and you want my personal blog, get in contact with me.
i loved all of you and you deserved better than this.